Pictures
I usually format my phone once in every four months or so. Just a friendly cleansing ritual. When we abuse cellphones in an alarming rate, I guess the junk should leave the system too right? Usually there are screenshots of the movies, songs and the shows to be explored, some random songs which at the spur of the moment felt revolutionary, hazy pictures with friends or some wallpapers which suited my need. I critically analysis each and every stored item carefully, considering its value. Sometimes I am sentimental and I refuse to erase even some irrelevant thing, other times I am driven by impulse and I scream complete obseletion. Here I am again, doing the same activity, determined to get some extra space for my two-year old, dying phone, to gain some extra life for it. After checking the recent folders, I decided to check the older ones, cause I was feeling energetic and enthusiastic. I didn't notice the month or the date while scrolling. And then after some speedy searching I slowed down. I blink my eyes to clearly adjust myself to the picture. This must be sometime between last to last summer early morning. I recognized the place. It was the bus-stand near my house. I was aiming for a selfie of us, me as always all clumsy with hair all over my eyes, while you perched your one eyebrow up, clearly trying to look "cool" and the picture reminded me of the days we would go for morning walks, when the sun was not shining so hard and there was light but pleasant breeze around us. How wonderful the warm tea and sweet 'jaleebi' seemed early in the morning!
The next series of pictures portray us with goofy expressions, where mostly I looked annoyed by you and you seemed as if you enjoyed it; the tired look in my eyes, the smirk on your face relishing every moment. In one picture it looked like I would hit you almost, while you looked like you would use your essential skills of self-defense to escape my wrath.
I like this picture. I was lying on your back and I was pointing to the wall. I knew it instantly that it was about the disgusting lizard, which always crept out whenever i got cosy in your room. You told me that you liked the way I behaved like a giddy child.
The next one is of me sleeping that you captured. I looked peaceful, not worried by anything around me. I guess I always felt protected with you. You had put your blue blanket around me carefully, so that I could be rested properly.
I stumbled upon the birthday video that I made for you. I was in my hostel room in Hyderabad while you were in Kolkata, on your birthday. I didn't know what to give you, as we were already fighting relentlessly over something highly foolish. Yet, I gathered up all my courage and made you a short video, where I conveyed how much it hurt to be separated from you on your day and that we would celebrate once I would come back. That celebration never took place, And it was the only birthday we ever together, that also over the phone briefly.
These next few snaps are where I am writing a letter and you are trying to take pictures from almost every angle. I was trying to hide the words of the letter from you, as these words were my parting ones for you, every-time I left for Hyderabad. What else could I leave behind? I only had these words to embrace you if you ever missed me. I gave a part of me in every word that sank in the white paper. I do not know whether the purpose of the letters were met, but I would like to pretend that you did read them and understand me.
I think the last few ones hurt the most. It was the last summer that has be
en most memorable. Every-time I came over to his place at dawn, I would always take a picture of the sun slowly rising to its place in the sky. How glorious the sky looked with different shaped clouds everyday, which were left to our imagination for interpretation; the pictures were similar yet unique, signifying how even if the concept remains the same, little things around here and there always change. Like how a face slowly transforms from a young child's to an adolescent's..the face belongs to the same person, yet the little features add up or fade away. Every-time I took the picture of the sky, i would feel content knowing that I would always come back here, witnessing the rise of a day and the end of one with the person who makes the twenty-four hours go by.
There were no more pictures. Some would say, why are there no more? Most lovers have snaps of them holding hands, tender kisses on cheek, eating out or watching a movie together, pictures signifying anniversary and other ones which would signify their relationship. But you see, we were not like others. It was rare when we took such pictures, as we felt us in reality being together, in the present, was the most important relevance. But if I had known that in the near future it would be impossible for any further pictures, then I would have taken more, way more.
I remember his words. He said to me that with time and effort, everything can be forgotten. But, I remember many such fleeting and everlasting moments, the ones captured by my birthday-camera or my mind's eye. I have found a way to stop time and hold on to the memories that we have shared.
No-one can take these away from you.
My love, not even you.
The next series of pictures portray us with goofy expressions, where mostly I looked annoyed by you and you seemed as if you enjoyed it; the tired look in my eyes, the smirk on your face relishing every moment. In one picture it looked like I would hit you almost, while you looked like you would use your essential skills of self-defense to escape my wrath.
I like this picture. I was lying on your back and I was pointing to the wall. I knew it instantly that it was about the disgusting lizard, which always crept out whenever i got cosy in your room. You told me that you liked the way I behaved like a giddy child.
The next one is of me sleeping that you captured. I looked peaceful, not worried by anything around me. I guess I always felt protected with you. You had put your blue blanket around me carefully, so that I could be rested properly.
I stumbled upon the birthday video that I made for you. I was in my hostel room in Hyderabad while you were in Kolkata, on your birthday. I didn't know what to give you, as we were already fighting relentlessly over something highly foolish. Yet, I gathered up all my courage and made you a short video, where I conveyed how much it hurt to be separated from you on your day and that we would celebrate once I would come back. That celebration never took place, And it was the only birthday we ever together, that also over the phone briefly.
These next few snaps are where I am writing a letter and you are trying to take pictures from almost every angle. I was trying to hide the words of the letter from you, as these words were my parting ones for you, every-time I left for Hyderabad. What else could I leave behind? I only had these words to embrace you if you ever missed me. I gave a part of me in every word that sank in the white paper. I do not know whether the purpose of the letters were met, but I would like to pretend that you did read them and understand me.
I think the last few ones hurt the most. It was the last summer that has be
en most memorable. Every-time I came over to his place at dawn, I would always take a picture of the sun slowly rising to its place in the sky. How glorious the sky looked with different shaped clouds everyday, which were left to our imagination for interpretation; the pictures were similar yet unique, signifying how even if the concept remains the same, little things around here and there always change. Like how a face slowly transforms from a young child's to an adolescent's..the face belongs to the same person, yet the little features add up or fade away. Every-time I took the picture of the sky, i would feel content knowing that I would always come back here, witnessing the rise of a day and the end of one with the person who makes the twenty-four hours go by.
There were no more pictures. Some would say, why are there no more? Most lovers have snaps of them holding hands, tender kisses on cheek, eating out or watching a movie together, pictures signifying anniversary and other ones which would signify their relationship. But you see, we were not like others. It was rare when we took such pictures, as we felt us in reality being together, in the present, was the most important relevance. But if I had known that in the near future it would be impossible for any further pictures, then I would have taken more, way more.
I remember his words. He said to me that with time and effort, everything can be forgotten. But, I remember many such fleeting and everlasting moments, the ones captured by my birthday-camera or my mind's eye. I have found a way to stop time and hold on to the memories that we have shared.
No-one can take these away from you.
My love, not even you.
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